Love as Accountability

Author: Mark Fenstermacher
October 29, 2021

One of my high school football coaches was an offensive lineman at IU. One of the stories about his time as a player had to do with a time when the team needed about 7 or 8 yards to pick up a first down. The coaches on the sideline sent in the punter, calling for a kick, but our coach was confident the team could pick up the first down if they “went for it.” He argued that in the huddle, and won his fellow teammates over. Instead of punting the ball, the players on the field decided to run the ball for a first down but the runner was thrown for a loss.

A play had been called. The players on the field countered with another play. The play was a failure.

I’ve often wondered what happened when the offensive lineman—who would one day be our coach—trotted over to the sideline. I suspect questions were asked and there were consequences. (By the way - he sort of coached the way he played. That’s all I will say.)

I am confident that the coaches held the players on the field accountable for their refusal to run the play that had been decided upon. If the goal was a first down, their improvised effort failed miserably.

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Accountability is a big deal.

I used to think it was almost rude to hold someone accountable for following through on a plan or promise. I once thought it was “negative thinking” to ask, of a ministry in the church, “Did we hit our mark or fall short? Did this bear fruit for God or not?”

Over time, though, I have learned that it can be a healthy and good thing to hold others (and ourselves) accountable. I have learned that healthy organizations—whether a football team, elementary school teachers, business or platoon in the Army—ask honest questions about whether the effort and the plan resulted in positive results.

In fact, there was a time when I hesitated to schedule evaluation conversations for the church staff in the congregations I served because I saw those as negative or punitive.  Then, I began to read—and hear from staff—that people don’t think they matter if their supervisor doesn’t bother to sit down and talk with them about their work (and performance).

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Maybe you are one of those people who hesitates to hold others (or yourself) accountable because you think to do so is unloving, rude, or negative. It doesn’t need to be that at all! The best efforts at accountable are:

• Based on a clear set of expectations about desired outcomes and/or behaviors. (Do people know what is expected of them? Do people know the behavioral expectations? Did we make clear what outcomes we were hoping for in this effort/ministry?)
• Focused on learning and growing rather than shaming or punishing.  (To be specific: these conversations are not only designed to help make the team more effective BUT to help the individual grow their work skills, self-awareness, and other gifts.)
• Intended to bring clarity to the relationships and organization so that resources can be directed to the places where there is growth and effectiveness AND away from the places where we are missing the mark.

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As I write this, I find myself thinking about a major Fall outreach effort in another congregation I served. A dedicated team of staff and volunteers worked for days, putting time and money into the effort, and then the day for the event arrived: only a handful of people made their way into the building.

The first reaction of those involved was to say it had been a success and worth the effort. I understood that because it takes a lot of courage to invest your heart, money and time into something, and then admit that—for whatever reason—it didn’t reach the people we wanted to reach for God. It was a good idea but it didn’t really work.

When the team gathered, someone mustered up the courage to both thank those who had worked so hard and then ask the question, “Did this event bear the fruit in lives served and changed we had hoped to see? Was it—honestly—worth the effort?”

An honest conversation then took place. It was work being honest but then there was this relief that we weren’t going to sit in the room and pretend that all had gone well when it had not. Was it the timing? The weather? Forces beyond our control? The very event itself? Our publicity and communication plan?

Holding ourselves accountable led to honest sharing and the learning of new lessons about how we could best serve God by investing our time and money into more effective ways of reaching out to the community.

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I didn’t start out writing this even thinking of our recently cancelled “Trunk or Treat” event but now I’m thinking about it. At first glance the cancelling of the event may seem like a failure OR it may be a sign that we are trying to be healthy, asking good questions, and seeking to be good stewards: we want to invest our time and effort in those outreach events that bear fruit. (I think we’ve learned some lessons and Trunk or Treat may be back on the schedule for 2022, if you’ll help us.)

Healthy churches, organizations, athletic teams, businesses, and relationships—even families—aren’t afraid to have honest conversations about what is working and what isn’t. (Patrick Lencioni makes this clear in his book “Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions of a Team.” It’s a healthy sign when we ask, in a kind and loving way, “What did we get right?” and “Where did we miss the mark?”

When Jesus sends out the disciples in the 10th chapter of Luke, he sends them so there will be harvest. He doesn’t send them out to just be busy, but he sends them out to bear fruit.

One of the most loving and honest things we can do in life is to step back and ask, “How are we doing? What worked? What didn’t work? What should we keep doing? What should we stop doing so resources can be used in better ways?”

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Join us this Sunday at 8:45 or 10:45 for worship (either on-line or in-person) for either our Sanctuary or our Chapter 2 celebrations as we begin to explore what paths lead to the joy of a generous life.

I am so blessed to serve as one of your pastors!

Grace and peace,
Mark

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