Disagreement as a Door

Author: Mark Fenstermacher
October 22, 2021

Some comments you don’t forget. Ruth, a retired librarian, had been in a Bible study that afternoon. We were standing near the entrance of the church where I served and she was a member. 

I can’t, for the life of me, remember what we were talking about but I have never forgotten what she said to me as she was about to walk out to her car: “Do you always agree with everyone about everything?” she said with a smile.

What she said somehow landed someplace deep in me. She had picked up my reluctance to disagree with people, my fear of conflict, and my desire to keep the peace (even if it was a false peace). A false peace only avoids what is real, and relationships (or churches) built on a foundation of false peace where people don’t speak honestly is sure to fail...or, at least, be stuck.

Two weeks ago I wrote a few paragraphs about the importance of trust.

Trust allows us to be honest.

Honesty brings conflict.

Conflict, that is honest and framed with grace, is the only way we get to agreement about where we are and where we are headed.

A friend was telling me the other day about her efforts to share a kitchen with a relative. They were going to prepare supper, but they were disagreeing about what to serve and how to prepare the meal. The one person is a “cook by intuition” sort of person and the other wants everything written down and planned to the smallest detail. One is used to preparing chicken in the oven and the other likes to prepare it in a pan over a burner. So things were a bit tense as they went back and forth, but they were honest with one another so they could work their way to an agreement about what would be served and how to do it.

++++

One way or another, during this “transitional chapter” in the life of our church (we’re still figuring out what that means!), God is calling us to develop a clear picture of who we are and what God is calling us to do. Some of this will happen in ADAPT. ADAPT is a visioning process that will involve the entire congregation in a season of prayer, study, and discernment.

I want you, as we look ahead to a vision for a new day, to be honest.

I want you to risk conflict with people you care about as we share our thoughts, questions, dreams, doubts, and hopes.

If we aren’t honest about what we believe God has in mind for us, in terms of our life and mission, then people won’t engage with whatever vision is developed. If we aren’t honest, if people aren’t heard, then the odds are that people will lean away from the vision rather than into it.

++++

When Jesus talks about going to Jerusalem, enduring great suffering, being put to death, and then rising from the dead on the third day, Simon Peter pulls him aside and rebukes him. The Apostle argues with the Teacher.

They love one another, they trust one another to be honest, and out of the conflict comes agreement–buy-in–that Jerusalem is the direction they’ll go: together.

Disagreement can be a door that actually opens the way to God’s preferred future for us. The door will remain closed, and we will be stuck, if we are not honest enough to get to a common, agreed-upon-vision which we will all help make a reality.

Risk honesty.

Work through conflict.

And God will help us–together–see a vision for a day we can all help make happen!

++++

Thank you for the cards, notes and words of comfort you have all so generously offered to me during the loss of my father. You bless me in so many ways!

Join us this Sunday at 8:45 (Sanctuary) or 10:45 (Chapter 2) worship celebrations either on-line or in-person as we come to the end of our series on The Gospel of Mark.

Grace and peace,
Pastor Mark

Note: We believe that God wants us to do what we do as well as we can. Also, we believe every outreach ministry to serve our community in the name of Jesus Christ must be fueled by lay leaders and lay volunteers. For whatever reason, our planned Trunk and Treat event has been cancelled because of a lack of volunteers.

As one of your pastors, I assume some of the responsibility for this decision: we should have done a better job of lifting up the vision for this event as an opportunity to connect with the community. We wanted to provide a fun and “normal” event after the long and challenging pandemic. It wasn’t about distributing candy but sharing the love of God in a fun and easy way. 

I should have made this clearer as one of your pastors. I’m confident there are some great things we are going to do for our God and our neighbors in the future. Every moment like this is a learning moment, and I know God is at work for good! Our outreach to others for Christ, whether Fine Arts Camp, the Wednesday Night Food Ministry, our music ministries, Sunday School, etc., stands on a foundation of prayer and volunteers.  It’s about what WE will do together for God!

BACK