Overcoming a Lack of Trust
Author: Mark Fenstermacher
October 01, 2021
I looked down at my feet. I was standing on animal skins, pulled tight over a framework of wood or whalebone, and I could see the cold water of the Bering Sea bubbling along beneath the boat as we moved west towards Cape Nome. The boat flexed with the force of the water, as the outboards pushed us along, and the skins would vibrate quietly like some kind of nautical drum.
“Will this thing hold us?” I found myself thinking to myself. The skins were translucent so it almost felt like we were running across the surface of the dark, cold ocean. I remember wondering if there was anything I could do to make myself lighter so I would not go through the bottom of the boat.
I was relieved when we arrived at our destination, and the boat was maneuvered close to shore. Once the boat had been beached, I walked away across the gravel beach. I circled the boat, studied it, and thought, “It held us.”
That short trip in the umiak came to mind as I thought about the subject of trust. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and it is actually the foundation of any healthy team. Our staff, as we are working through Patrick Lencioni’s Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions of a Team, listened this past week as the leadership expert talked about the importance of trust.
Trust is about people being in a relationship where they don’t have to pretend. Trust is about people being in a relationship, team, or church where they can be real. Trust is about people not hiding their doubts, covering over their mistakes, denying their weaknesses, but knowing they can be appropriately open and honest with one another.
Several weeks ago in worship, I observed that it needs to be okay not to be okay in the church. Or with a friend or co-worker. If we can’t be real, if we can’t be honest, then nothing is going to be right or healthy. Some teams, some relationships, some churches and some families are all about pretending because people don’t trust the relationship to hold when the water is cold and the waves are high.
This Sunday we’ll be looking at a pivotal moment in the 8th chapter of the Gospel of Mark (are you reading the Gospel along with us?). Jesus announces that he needs to go to Jerusalem and take on the forces of bigotry, prejudice, fear, greed, and idolatrous nationalism. Referring to himself, Jesus says he is going to suffer, die and then “rise from the dead.”
Eleven of the disciples may be shocked (or they may not understand what the Teacher is saying at all), but only Simon Peter is willing to disagree with Jesus. Only Simon Peter is willing to openly express a contrary view. Mark 8:32b tells us that Peter actually pulled Jesus aside and scolded him.
I’ve always loved that moment of open conflict between Jesus and the disciple he referred to as “the Rock.” The reason it is so powerful is because it shows us that Jesus and Peter trusted one another to be honest—even when they disagreed with one another or misunderstood one another. This honesty, this trust, was a key to their relationship enduring the last week in Jerusalem, the night of the arrest and the betrayal, the execution outside the city walls, and the resurrection encounters.
What can we do and say that will build trust in our families, work teams, and in our church? Are we willing to hang in there with one another even when we go through times of disagreement and misunderstanding? Is it okay to be human here, and is it okay not to be okay?
There is one last thing I would say about trust, and that is whether or not we can trust God. Some people think God only will love them if they follow all the rules, but that is a conditional kind of love: one mistake and then God is done with us?
The Bible teaches us that the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting. Jesus, in Mark 8, doesn’t give up on Simon Peter after the disciple’s outburst but they keep walking together towards Jerusalem.
Richard Rohr, in his book Immortal Diamond, writes this: “...the core meaning of faith (is) to dare to trust that God could, will, and does have an eternal compassion toward you.”
If you are looking down at your feet, at the skin of the Gospel pulled tight across the framework of your life, you may wonder, “Will this hold?”
The answer is “Yes, God’s love for you will hold you. Even when you are not okay. Even when you are real.”
Join us this Sunday at 8:45 for Sanctuary or at 10:45 for Chapter 2 in Fellowship Hall, either online or in person. Try out one of our Sunday morning groups as a place to connect and create community in Christ.
It is a joy to serve God with you!
Pastor Mark
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